happy belated darius, i missed the mark by a couple of minutes oh wells..


i just wanna say something really really random.

if all else fails like career and marriage yadayada wise, i wanna open a book shop. librarians don't actually have time to curl up in a corner and read the books that surround them cos they are too busy picking up after brats who don't bother putting books back into their right places.

but a book shop owner! oh how great that would be!! when business is slow i can just grab and book and indulge.. mmm

i would totally be those kind of overly friendly proprietor and be all, "lemme recommend this book to you!! it took my breath away.." haha

what inspired this totally random thought?

i stepped into a book rental store recently and i couldn't stop the smile that crept upon my face.. oh how lovely those books smell!! i lovee the musty smell of old books, i could relish in them all day..

so many books, so little time.. i stumbled upon a tess gerritsen shelf and was like so tempted to rent a book! the jeffery archer column was staggering, one of the greats, that man.. at that moment in time i was upset that i wouldn't be able to bring any book home cos i had zero cash..

now if i was the shop owner..... w.o.w

ok, thus concludes my totally idiotic rant. sometimes i'm glad i'm a nerd. like if i wasn't, i wouldn't be able to comprehend the joys of reading. i'd be all, pfft books.

ignorant boobs..

p/s: if i got married, i'd still wanna be the owner of a book shop!! but i'll upgrade my dream.. my gorgeous (beauty is in the eye of the beholder kinda gorgeous) hubby and I would move to england and open a quaint little antique book store that is sorta the downstairs to our apartment. that sounds perfect really..

p/p/s: this is the start of a hiatus.was i supposed to respond?..

the one who has the power in a relationship is the one who cares less.

how ironically true.

for the one who cares more would be vulnerable, desperate some may say.

but power is not happiness.

and happiness belongs to the one who cares more, gives more.

why i needed a chick flick to teach me that, i'd never know.
someone teach me what to say...

i see him walking in the lonely alley
digs his hands deep into his pockets
he staggers, take a swig
pulls out a cigar and lights it

i see her crying in the corner
shielding her face from the world
her insecurities birthing forth
pulls a razor to her wrist and slits it

i see them running in the field
laughing with heads thrown back
they have not yet seen the ugly
pull out a crayon to draw with

i see him with a plastered smile
with girls draped all over
he lives the high life, an aristocrat
pulls out money and throws it

i see her slouching on a bench
glasses hanging from the nose
her hair disheveled and unkempt
pulls out a book and reads it

i see them with spirit and pride
screaming in rythm and in sync
they are desired, they are envied
pull out pom-poms to cheer


and they do not differ.
because they are all lost.
in the darkness they grope but they do not find.
shine light, shine.

wow.
:) right back at you!..  i can explain what i really meant if you want me to..
wow.


wow.


the Hebrew word used for "Lord" in the pure context of the one true God is Yahweh.

this word is so sacred that the Hebrew scribes wouldn't write it all out. they took the vowels out and wrote YHWH.

it is referred to as the sacred tetragrammation, the unspeakable four letters.

it was the unmentionable name, the holy name guarded from profanity in the life of Israel.

He who must not be named.

because of his awesome power and glory.

do you realise that the Lord you serve is one so powerful and mighty that you cannot even stand being in his pure presence?

do you reduce the glory of YHWH?..

just because He is merciful and loving and desires to have a relationship with you doesn't dismiss His absolute beauty and majesty.

do not forget that you are undeserving.

but yet He chose to give.

the one so glorious that he could not be mentioned.

He chose you.

i now know what it means to be unable to do anything but worship him...

do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?..
being misunderstood..

there is nothing more frustrating and hurting than to be misunderstood..
for your intentions and words to be writhed into something you don't even recognise..
it cuts..

don't you get that i never meant to hurt you?

to be thought of as a conniving and spiteful person is just a degradation of my spirit..

would i ever scheme against you? speak badly of you on a public pedestal such as a blog? never.. ever..

i jump to your defence everytime someone speaks badly of you, because i thought i understood a glimpse of what goes on in that encephalon of yours that i truly respect..

if time could be manipulated, i would make sure i never allowed what happened to go down again..

i'm just... lost


flying away sounds awesome right now.. escapism, my haven

goodbye.i should have known when to shut the hell up.

it is done.




mmmm, freedom tastes so sweet. but the bitter after-taste of a bad paper still lingers.. why must chemistry even be invented?! pfft

anyway i am so STOKED for tmr! loveee that my small group consists of a bunch of brats who refuse to be exposed to the sun (and abi who can't cycle ?!!) so we're gonna buffet in an enclosed air-conditioned place instead!! yipee for food and air con lovers! hahahah

kirby may be going lissy!! drop by as soon as you can yea? :D

God has truly been amazing.. i take a step back and look at the progress of the small group and i am blown away.. we have become so close and i do believe growth is starting!

*does happy dance* mmm happy dance ~

haha i sound like i'm stoked in the high-on-drugs way instead of the ecstatic way



i just saw my mom dancing in the living room while blasting "One Way" no kidding.


my head is aching and this was a waste of time.. sorry bout that, i just felt the need to post something to inform the world my exams are finally over.. :D

here's a nice picture to redeem this loser of a blog post

this post is dedicated to a very special someone.. enjoy my dear!


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me: my momma told me i was sleep talking last night.. omg! i'm too stressed, sigh ):

him: if you're worrying about your studies, know that at the end you'll make it, you have what it takes! the hectic period is almost over, so you can focus on your studies.. OR if you're worrying that no guys will want you, then change your mindset as you are date-able.. If you worry that you are fat, know that you don't look fat, i'm just kidding with my insults. you must know the definition of a fat person and realise you are not catagorised under it. If you worry about cell this week, i don't mind planning it all with abi, i'll take sharing as well. if it's the mission group, then don't worry. i'm a socialising machine and can make people feel comfortable in the group. so nothing already right? nothing to worry about! hoho

aww. i have to say i almost teared. almost.

that's all it takes, a simple heartfelt one-of-a-kind message..

it made my night year..

and yea, he's right!.. there's nothing else to worry about lol.. i place my trust in him.. and God la heh

yup, this is for the absolutely lovely DARIUS, my pride and joy!!

- i laugh too loudly sometimes.
- i make comments about things and people.
- i think i'm fat.
- i talk to inanimate objects.
- i smile to myself.
- i love ice cream.
- i trip over my own feet.
- i like to stare out the window when it rains.
- i can blow huge bubblegum bubbles.
- i dream a lot.
- i think a lot.
- i talk a lot.